Showing up for yourself
Last week, I talked about the tendency we all have to avoid ourselves, and offered some gentle reflection questions you could use to examine how this shows up in your life.
There are lots of places we could go next. I’d love to hear what came up for you when you thought about the questions I posed (please hit respond and let me know!).
I’d also love to hear any insights you have about why these tendencies are prevalent in your life and in our lives in general (again, hit reply! I love having these kinds of conversations).
But what’s been on my mind is how this tendency to avoid ourselves is affecting the way we live and work, and how we show up for what’s most important to us.
Given that there are so many choices to make—so many options for tuning in, consuming, shutting down our own thinking—we’re often not making space for the things that could make a real difference in our work and lives.
Things like…
Getting to the heart of the impact you want to make in the world, so you can help the people who need to hear from you.
Developing an intentional writing practice, so that you have a supportive place to turn to when things feel hard or joyful and you can’t contain those feelings inside you.
Asking for help in creating something you believe the world needs, but that you can’t quite get done all on your own.
Identifying how you behave when you’re good and thoroughly stuck, and then brainstorming ahead of time so the next time you get stuck, you can move through it with greater ease.
Embracing a coaching practice that asks you to be kind and gentle with yourself at every step of the process, rather than treating yourself like a project or something broken that needs to be fixed.
Committing to breathwork, a practice that uses the power of your breath for self-healing.
Diving deep into how you want your everyday life to look, and then taking deliberate, measured steps to actually get there.
These things sound good. But it can be tough to really set aside time to actually do them.
It’s easier to scroll Instagram or check your email or listen to a podcast…and then decide you don’t have enough time, or that your needs aren’t important enough or won’t get you results fast enough, or that you have better things to do.
(It’s hard to type those things because I can see them in my own life as well as the lives of others around me. Please know I’m saying those things with the utmost love and care for you and for me.)
One answer to this dilemma (and truly, this is only one out of many possible answers)?
Hire someone to help you.
When you pay someone money in exchange for their help, you’re going to show up. You’re going to do the work. And you’re likely going to have more confidence in your ability to follow through than you would on your own.
Now this doesn’t apply to everyone. There are always exceptions. I know there will be some of you who are doing these kinds of things without necessarily needing to hire help. To you, I say, wonderful. Go forth and do. Take this moment to appreciate that about yourself.
To the rest of us (me included)? Those ideas I listed above are real things you can hire a real person to help you with. And if you need help with something else, it's likely there's someone out there who offers what you need (feel free to email; I might have an idea or recommendation!).
One of the struggles we face with the growing amount of information (and distractions) available to us today is the ability to commit to the pace at which true growth happens. We want more, shiny, new, now—when what is often required is less, steady, slow.
Hiring someone involves an inherent commitment to do the work at a slower, more steady pace.
And with the number of incredible humans out there offering varied and deeply helpful services, it's pretty likely you'll be able find someone you respect, admire, and feel safe with who can help you with the thing to which you want to commit your time and energy.
Of course, I know budget can be a factor. You can’t hire someone for everything—much as you may like to! (I know I sure would.)
So next time, we’ll talk about ways to narrow in on what to focus on first.
But today, I want to end with where we started: that avoiding ourselves is affecting the way we live and work.
When we make a commitment to something we know can make a positive impact on our lives, we build up trust in ourselves.
That, in turn, will help us continue to show up for the things that are most important to us, as well as make space for us to show up for the world in which we live—a world that desperately needs us to show up.
(I’d love to hear any thoughts or ideas that have come to mind as you read this! Always feel free to hit reply or send me a message on Instagram.)
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With love,
As always,
Erica
P.S. In case you're interested, here are links to the services I mentioned above:
Mine:
Core Message Coaching
Explore: Intentional Writing
Content Collaboration
Stay Unstuck: A Guide to Awareness + Action
Friends:
Be With coaching
Breathwork sessions (she also offers a membership with group sessions)
Future You coaching